Googling Myself

Man, that title almost sounds dirty, doesn't it?

Growing up, I was a HUGE Mike Tyson fan. I'm talking about the pre-prison Mike Tyson. The Mike Tyson who hadn't yet beaten his wife or been accused of rape. This was the guy who became the youngest heavyweight champion in history at the age of twenty. He won his first 19 bouts by a knockout, including 12 that occurred in the first round. He was the baddest man on the planet. He was "Kid Dynamite!"

I remember clipping out pictures of Iron Mike in Sports Illustrated delivering a blow to Michael Spinks with sweat and saliva exploding off Spinks' battered face. I played Mike Tyson's Punch-Out on Nintendo endlessly (How is it that Little Mac only comes up to the other fighters' knees?). I could never beat Tyson at the end of the game though. I remember one time I actually landed a punch on

him. That was a great day.

But best of all, his last name was the same as my first name. Tyson! I would tell kids at school that I was named after Mike Tyson, even though neither of my parents were boxing fans in the least bit at the time of my birth, and Kid Dynamite didn't explode onto the boxing scene until after I was born. Nevertheless I was so incredibly proud to share something in common with Iron Mike. I was certain to have a bonafide ice-breaker if we were ever to meet.

Fast-forward a few years... After the time spent in prison for rape, and after his messy divorce from actress Robin Givens, Tyson looked to get back into boxing and seemed to have put his dark past behind him. He stepped into the ring to face Evander Holyfield to regain his heavyweight title. Unable to overpower Holyfield, Tyson was disqualified for biting Holyfield's ear, not once, but TWICE! With Holyfield's bloody and mangled ear lying on the mat, I knew that Tyson was never going to be anything but a psychopath.

Naturally, I tried to distance myself with the guy. When I lived in Korea, I would tell people my name and they would say, "Oh Tyson... Like the famous boxer?" I would sigh and then tell them, "Yes, but I'm not a psycho like he is."

Now years later, Google has effed up all my damage control. When people google my name, my facebook and blog show up obviously. But there is also so much more thanks to the athlete formerly known as Kid Dynamite. Here are some listings underneith the Google search "Tyson Camp":

"Tyson camp makes threats – Las Vegas Sun"

"Turmoil in Tyson camp"

"In the Tyson Camp, Truce is Tenuous"

and the worst of them all...

"Tyson Camp Dismisses Allegations of Rape..."

You can see why I would be upset, right? Obviously these articles aren't about me. And I guess it isn't so much Google's fault as it is the media who use the words: "Tyson camp." Why couldn't they use "Tyson entourage" or "Tyson posse" or even "Tyson people"? I know my last name isn't the most common of names, but I bet you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone on this earth named "Tyson Entourage".

But I guess that's what happens. I guess I'll just have to make a good name for myself to make these changes.

I just hope my future potential employers will have enough sense to distinguish that guy from me.